My brilliant scholar Mother died a year ago now. Before she left the Earth she and I spoke about her life a lot and about how, had she lived in my generation, or her granddaughter's, she would have become a college professor, not made her career teaching younger children.

"Yet coming from my background, it was enough to simply make it through college. Nobody, male or female, in my family ever attended University and my family completely abandoned me when I insisted on getting a higher education. I had to do it all by myself with no money or emotional support whatsoever!"

"Are you jealous of your granddaughters?" I asked her.

"Yes, of course, I am!" she admitted before declaring with laughing grandeur, "Actually I am PROUD to be jealous of my granddaughters! May you and I be even more jealous of my Great Granddaughters to come!"

"Here, here. Make it so!" I echoed her in Universal Mother's prayer.

Many of us have Mothers who were clearly designed by the "waheguru" to be Chief Executive Officers and University professors, singers, dancers, movie stars, mechanics, politicians, and MBA's. In traditional family structures, however, women are most valued and praised for being Mothers. Women under Patriarchy come into our societal power only when we birth babies- actually only when we birth boy babies.

Since women cannot fulfill their own personal Divine callings and destinies, traditional Moms often project their unfulfilled dreams onto their sons. Thus, even if the "waheguru" designed the son to be an artist this life, the Mom will tend to push the son into doing what the Mom herself most desired for herself, but was denied. Thus, the World over, we have the powerful character of "the dominating Mother" in practically every novel, movie and soap opera - women who are deeply jealous of their children and they act it.

To add to the drama, men, when they occasionally stop to publicly honor and appreciate women, often settle on singing the praises of their Mothers. Of course, to women who are a bit cynical about men (a pretty big percentage of women on Earth, in truth) this can sound like "self praise" rather than words of empowerment for the World Sisterhood. Men get heard as saying, in essence:

"Women, you are your most sacred when you become a Mother. Specifically, it is such a wonder when women birth sons! My Mother birthed me! That was her major accomplishment this life! She was/is a SAINT. That is why I turned out so marvelous and great! It is all because of my amazing, self-sacrificing, throw away her life and dreams, so I can grow up to be the egotist I am today, Blessed Mother!"

Now, this is NOT to forget that many women have "callings" to work with children and/or create domestic efficiency. Many women do, many women don't. "Allah loves variety!" Still, limiting women's educational and vocational options in life to housework, kids and cooking creates uptight and unfulfilled women. As do men, women get cranky and listless (and jealous) when they have no power to do the Divine Purpose GOD sent us to do.

So, it is important for Sikh men who wish to honor and praise Sikh women, and the World Sisterhood, to NOT start babbling about their Mothers. That is not ROMANTIC or attractive to the majority of today's women. Praise and empower your WIVES and Sisters into equal authority with men, starting with you. And put more energy and resources, for a generation or two, into educating your daughters and granddaughters than into the "Begotten Sons" of your lineage.

This will impress the World's women. Actually it may even make us swoon!

Other than that, sexism changes very quickly when men realize and admit that they are abused by the Baboon Troop social dynamics too- that men are being forced to live under Authoritarian Hierarchies and made to sustain them. All around the World systematic child abuse is applied to boy babies. Most Western men were circumcised with no pain relief given, within hours of coming onto this planet. What does that do to a person? Thank the "waheguru" that as a Sikh man you were held in the arms of your Mother and you heard the Mool Mantra when you were born. It is a tremendous psychological advantage and grace.

Yet, as a boy you were held far less than your sisters. And, if you are a man this life, chances are you got beaten much more than the girls around you did. In fact little boys are expected to, and usual do, protect their sisters from physical abuse. Girls are sexually abused more, but boys get sexually abused as well.

And boys are allowed to talk about it even less than girls.

Boys are trained to not cry about ANY of this. Or show any emotion, except maybe AGE and REVENGE.

This happens all over the World, all down through the Age of Conquest. Truth is boys are being trained up for WAR and profit. Boys are expendable. Boys are trained up to exist in factories and offices or to fight. Men are expected to be droids for the Military Industrial Complex. Systematic child abuse is culturally enforced. Boys are isolated from little girls and trained to believe they are better than girls. Boys are trained up as little rulers, and middle managers, free from the need to clean toilets or cook or word
process.

Later sold-out and indoctrinated grown men initiate boys into having sex with women- free of love and commitment. Older men often WANT their sons to have this sexual experience. They want their sons to have their formative experience of sex be free from true love and friendship and intimacy and physical/spiritual union with a woman. And men who can attain abundant sex and keep distant and neutral and impersonal about it are rewarded with status in the Baboon Troop.

And, of course, men are worked to death.

In the end, it actually becomes true, "Big Boys Don't Cry" - rather men die of heart attacks and the complications of too many ulcers instead. The ultimate abuse of men by modern culture is that males die younger than women.

So lets be clear here, men are terribly oppressed by the Baboon Troop, the Paranoid Patriarchy, by Authoritarian Hierarchies, the feudal caste/class systems, the Military Industrial Complex, as much as women are and that this is a worldwide problem. Unless you can actually make it as the Alpha Male, the Boss, Guru and King of the Castle, you are always going to be under some other guy's dominion. And even if you do succeed in becoming an Alpha Male, everyone will hate you and you will hate yourself too- though you probably won't admit it.

Thankfully for Sikhs, Guru Gobind Singh turned the Alpha Male job over to the Siri Guru Granth Sahib. The rest of us are simply Brothers and Sisters. Actually, as Sikhs, we are all Soul Brides which means we are actually ALL Sisters. This is a very important and inspiring truth about Sikhi that I hope we communicate to women (and men) everywhere. Sikhi is Sisterhood at heart.

Kamalla Rose Kaur is a USA born writer of Irish descent who embraced Sikhism in 1972, at age 18. She tried everything for over twenty years, including frantic practice of Yoga, until she learned "why Sikhs are so adament about having the Sri Guru Granth Sahib as their only Guru."